Letter Openers

Shit, y'all, letta opener technology changed since I started officin' back in tha day. I always thought if you white collar, y'all wanna be strapped wit' one-a them dagga-lookin' muhfukkaz. But now they also make letter openers wit' safety in mind. Tha Letta Opener Of Death, that fo' tha pros. But yo, check out tha othah one. A shortie could use it. Tha blade all guarded. That's why I calls it tha Letta Opener Of Life. If y'all tried 2 use this 2 put tha mad hurt on some punk he'd jus' laugh. But tha Midstate posse believe in givin' you, tha consuma, a choice, know what I'm sayin'?





Letta Opener Of Death

Nine punishin' inches o' stainless steel. Chrome-plated. Gut an' debone a letter wit' mad quickness or teach a playa-hata some respect.

#A88B748-681

$2.39
 



Letta Opener Of Life

This jus' foe lettas. It all plastic an' shit, 'cept foe tha blade, which be less than a inch long. It even say "letter opener" on it, otherwise nobody know what it be. Y'all just put tha pointy edge under tha envelope flap an' slit tha fuckah. Sure can't gangbang wit' this thang. Maybe you can poke a sucka's eye out wit tha pointy edge? Nah, that wack. Increase tha peace: Use tha Letta Opener Of Life.

#DO6R398-005

2 pk./$3.59